This Week’s Man Crush: Jake Locker

After a two-week hiatus, I’m back at it and have found this week’s Man Crush: Washington quarterback Jake Locker. After Oregon’s unrelenting tail-kicking of the boys from Montlake (a 44-10 final score), I have some words of advance for Locker.

Go play baseball.

Don’t get me wrong Jake, I think you can play on Sundays. Just stop what you’re doing right now with this football team and go play baseball. Or water polo. Or golf. Do something, anything before you go and get yourself killed. You don’t have the players, coaching staff or athletic department to back you up.

As you know, you were the leading passer, going 12-28 for 128 yards. You should have had better numbers here, but I lost count of the dropped passes by your receivers. Unfortunately, you were sacked three times. Any other quarterback probably would have been sacked at least a dozen times. But like usual, your athleticism and feet got you out of trouble.

Speaking of your feet, you were also the leading rusher, carrying the ball 16 times for 57 yards. Kind of pathetic isn’t it? Your running back corps didn’t do you any favors. The next closest runner toted the ball 14 times for 19 yards. That’s a 1.4 yards per carry average for you math majors at home. All the other running backs combined could only muster 40 total yards. Ugh.

If I were you, I’d deny you ever played defense in high school. On the plane ride home, I’m positive the coaching staff tried to figure out the best place to slot you in on the defensive side of the ball. Oregon’s per rush average last night was 5.8 yards. Their average pass netted 8.6 yards. Early in the game the defense looked woefully unprepared and confused. Late in the game, they looked gassed.

Jake, you’re athletic department has thrown you under the bus as well. For a team that has finished last or next to last the past three seasons, the guys behind the desks still think it’s 1991. They’ve scheduled Oklahoma, BYU and Notre Dame as the team’s non-conference opponents this year. Oh, and you still have USC to look forward to.

About the Man Crush: This is a weekly installment for the blog where, for good or for bad, I’ll highlight one stand-out player or sports celebrity.