This Week’s Man Crush: Clay Bennett

Clay, I view you as a role model, as an extraordinarily gifted executive, a deep and compassionate thinker, and a person with a rare and unique charisma that brings out the best in everyone you touch. You are just one of my favorite people on earth.

I must confess that I plagiarized your e-mail to David Stern, but I couldn’t find the words that captured the depth of my feelings. There are so many reasons to admire you, I hardly know where to start.

It’s remarkable how you can lie and then justify that lie with yet another absurd lie – all with a straight face. You even sound sincere. I think you actually believed yourself when it was all said and done. Sociopathic qualities like these are a natural gift.

The blackness of your soul is unappreciated. And the swiftness in which you ripped a 41-year Seattle institution from a rabid fan base in less than two years is breathtaking. You were able to strip all the talent away from the Sonics and lose an ungodly amount of games – making the team nearly impossible to watch.

I can’t even begin to describe my admiration of how you won an unwinnable lease agreement trial. It’s like you applied the Jedi mind trick to the city of Seattle and scooted out of town, only having to pony up $45 million. A mere drop in the oil well, huh partner?

Soon, you’ll set aside all integrity and hoist the Seattle SuperSonics division titles and championship banners into the rafters of the Ford Center and claim them as Oklahoma City’s. You’ll also hang the retired jerseys aloft without thinking twice. You may even invite Gary Payton to Oklahoma next year to retire his No. 20. Lucifer has nothing on you – cheers to you, my friend.

Then you convinced the state of Oklahoma to grant you enormous tax breaks while taxing themselves an addtional $120 million to invest back into a relatively new arena. Even though Oklahoma recently ranked 47th in the nation in expenditures per student, you got them to forget about that education mumbo jumbo and blow millions on your basketball team. A tip of the cap to you, sir.

There are many others who could have received The Mitten’s affection this week (Greg Nickels, Howard Schultz, Frank Chopp, Christine Gregoire), but you just have a flare for the truly evil.

About the Man Crush: This is a weekly installment for the blog where, for good or for bad, I’ll highlight one stand-out player or sports celebrity.