Red Sox Glory Leeches descend on Seattle

Beginning today, the Mariners will host the Red Sox for a three-game set at Safeco Field. Up until their 2004 World Series Championship, I readily enjoyed Boston coming to Seattle and watching the home town nine dismantle the Sox.

That version of Red Sox Nation was tolerable and even a little endearing. Its anguish and self-loathing was somewhat justified. Even though they had won five series championships before 2004, the last 80 seasons truly seemed cursed. Bill Buckner, Bucky Dent, Aaron Boone, the Curse of the Bambino - the failures were uncanny.

Today, Red Sox self-deprecation is just plain maddening. And the throngs of yahoos that now make up Red Sox Nation are insufferable.

Sox fans are famous for acknowledging that things are going great for their team while expecting the “other shoe” to drop at any moment. The thing is, the “other shoe” has become World Series Championships. Stop already with the Chicken Little routine.

If you want true misery, try being a SuperSonics fan. How pathetic are we? There’s talk of retiring Shawn Kemp and Walter Payton’s jerseys next year at KeyArena even though the team has skipped town. Top that!

The 2004 and 2007 World Series Championships have spawned a new breed of glory leech. The twice-a-year visit by the once lovable losers has cast a pall over the city. Every time I see one of these dopes walking through Pioneer Square on their way to the game in a pink Red Sox jersey, I can’t shake images of Fever Pitch.

While the mere sight of an ever growing Red Sox Nation is enough to make you want to never watch another Cheers rerun, this clan isn’t too different from the other bandwagoners we’ve seen infect our fair city. In fact, they’re probably the same people.

When the Yankees were on their run in the mid-90s and early aughts, Safeco Field was awash in Yankee caps. Every casual fan who worked in New York at one time in their lives, enjoyed visiting New York, or had a distant relative who once drove through New York, instantly became a lifelong backer of the Bronx Bombers.

There are unaccountable numbers of Lakers fans in Seattle. Their claim is their fathers, grandfathers or uncles were big fans before Seattle got its team. Right.

To some extent, I married into Red Sox Nation. My wife was born in Vermont and her brother is a true fanatic. Her Portland TrailBlazer affiliation we’ll save for another column.

You really have to feel for the true Sox fans. My brother-in-law is one of them. Before the World Series Championship in 2004, I actually hoped for his sake that the Red Sox would do the seemingly impossible.

I know true fans are embarrassed about the monstrosity built on their once Island of Despair. How can someone disassociate themselves from the bandwagon riff-raff? I’m not sure that you can.

Maybe just hold out hope that the Cubs win the World Series. That story will be too irresistible for the glory leeches.