Sober Seattle Saturday: The week in sports missed because you were intoxicated

The Mariners edged out a win last night in Oakland, 5-4, thanks to some solid work by the bullpen, sitting down 10 consecutive hitters to end the game. Perhaps the A’s need to dig through their video vault for some Jose Canseco tutelage on the fine art of hitting. In “Jose Canseco Baseball Camp” the second half of the bash brothers tandem covers important topics like why getting hit in the head by a 98 mile per hour fastball is bad, urging the kids to “make sure you have it on at all times” – before he discards the helmet to the side of the field and continues batting practice without it. Obviously, we still have much to learn from this man. Unfortunately, there are no chapters about which major league ballpark bathroom stalls give you the most privacy so you can safely juice up.



Washburn is electric, Morrow frenetic
Mariners starting pitcher Jarrod Washburn threw eight scoreless innings against Minnesota on Thursday, helping earn the M’s a 2-2 split in the season opening series. Closer Brandon Morrow came on in the ninth and after walking the leadoff hitter on four straight pitches, it looked as if Morrow was ready to implode like he did two nights earlier. Morrow regained his composure and closed out the game, but it seems that M’s fans will be on this roller coaster ride until Morrow has better command of his pitches.

Couples out Mastered
So much for being the sleeper at Augusta. Fred Couples is the latest to suffer the Whammy by The Mitten. After this space and a few others opined that Couples had a legitimate shot at winning The Masters, he shot back-to-back 73s and missed the cut. Sorry, Boom Boom. My bad.

Hawks open minicamp without Leroy Hill
The Seattle Seahawks held their first voluntary minicamp with new head coach Jim Mora. The team was blessed with blue sky, warm weather and a healthy Matt Hasselbeck. However, they were without linebacker Leroy “Cheech” Hill, who decided not to show in protest of being designated with the franchise tag. No word if Hill was back at his home in Georgia or passed out in his car at the Seahawks headquarters parking lot.

Dustup on Montlake
The Husky football squad had to do some extra running earlier this week at spring practice. A little smack talk between cornerback Quinton Richardson and receiver Anthony Boyles escalated into an all squad fracas. Coach Steve Sarkisian didn’t take kindly and made the boys run after practice. I for one am happy to see that the defense actually has a pulse because last year it looked like they didn’t care.

Sounders get Fredy back, sell out more matches
Fredy Montero will be back in the lineup for the Sounders FC today against Kansas City, also known as the hotbed of BBQ and soccer. Montero missed last week’s game against Toronto following sexual assault allegations in Bellevue. The club also sold out two more home games: April 25 against San Jose and May 10 against Los Angeles.