New York Yankees slugger and former Mariner Alex Rodriguez admitted this week that he took steroids. We can now safely say that everyone in the league was on the juice at one point or another before the magnifying glass of the federal government cast its white hot light on baseball.It’s clear they were all on the juice. All except for one man: The Major League Baseball Logo Guy. How do I know this? Let’s examine the evidence. His name didn’t show up in the Mitchell Report nor has he been smeared in any of Jose Canseco’s tell-all books. Not one of Major League Baseball Logo Guy’s teammates has even whispered his name in any performance enhancing drug rumors.
Then there is the physical evidence. Sure, Major League Baseball Logo Guy has an unorthodox batting stance, with his hunched-over-elbows-in crouch. But it works for him – so you have to leave it alone. Many players who are on the juice show signs of an enlarged head, like Barry Bonds, or broadening shoulders. But Major League Baseball Logo Guy’s head has stayed exactly the same size over the years.Sure, some hooligans have tried to smear your good name. These dirt bags, sitting in front of their computers in their mother’s basement have PhotoShopped you holding syringes and other drug paraphernalia. They can make ham-handed attempts to alter your inspiring profile, but we know the truth.
Major League Baseball Logo Guy is a beacon of hope – symbolizing the eventual riddance of performance enhancing drugs from our beloved nation’s pastime. A whole nation turns its weary eyes to you Major League Baseball Logo Guy.About the Man Crush: This is a weekly installment for the blog where, for good or for bad, I’ll highlight one stand-out player or sports celebrity.
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