Jim Mora must grow a mustache

I have a negative knee-jerk reaction when introduced to well-groomed, articulate and polished coaches. I’ve developed a propensity toward the mustachioed and portly because you know he’s not wasting time running stairs or working out when he could be breaking down game film and shuffling Xs and Os.

They also need to exude a presence that says, “If you screw up, even this much, you’ll be flying a cargo plane full of rubber dog shit out of Hong Kong!”

You can blame former Washington head dude Rick Neuheisel for this, and to a lesser extent Tyrone Willingham and former M’s skipper Bob Melvin. But Neuheisel was the king. We were all so in the bag for this guy until one day you woke up to find your house was gutted, on fire and your wallet was gone with a little sticky note attached that read, “Thanks for the hospitality. See you in court, buddy!”

So, when the gushing headlines and breathless leads appeared in the local papers about how new Seahawks coach Jim Mora was engaging and enthusiastic with every hair and word in just the right place … I wanted to shoot myself in the face. Coaches are supposed to hate doing press conferences. They should be surly because they’d rather be in their windowless office game planning. Think Lou Pinella with a screaming case of hemorrhoids. That’s the attitude I’m hoping for.

Word on the street is there is no con in Mora, he's the real deal and he’s learned from his mistakes in Atlanta. He blew it with the Falcons, especially when he ran his mouth on sports radio about the Washington Huskies head coaching gig being his dream job. But don’t feel sorry for the Falcons, they’re now set up to the kick the holy hell out of everyone in the NFC for the next few years.

When the dust settles and folks stop comparing him to President Barack Obama, Mora will have a gigantic task in front of him. The expectations are now being set that he’ll turn this Seahawks team around in a year. The Seattle Times’ Seahawks blog posted the NFL’s rebounding trend chart already.

I understand the team was crushed by injuries in 2008, but I didn’t see much on either side of the ball that gives me hope that the Hawks are posting double digit wins next year and heading back to the playoffs. The silver lining on offensive is there is no way every starting player gets injured again. The Hawks used a dozen different receivers last year and had a new offensive line formation nearly every game. Statistically, the odds of that happening again are nil.

The solutions on the defensive side of the ball may be less obvious as the squad took a step back from the year before when they were ranked 15th in total defense. They had all their starters returning, but they were 30th in team defense in 2008, giving up an average 24.5 points per game. They were dead last in the league in passing defense and 18th against the rush. They were small, but they were slow. A little offseason defensive line help would be welcomed.

Everyone seems to be on the Jim Mora bandwagon and I’m hoping they’re proven right in the end. Maybe I’d feel a little better if Mora grew a mustache and lay off the treadmill for a while.