There are only two things to cure a Basketball Jones in Seattle this winter. I could stand out in the cold, in front of a boarded up KeyArena, wearing a Gary Payton throwback jersey and wax nostalgically about the 1996 playoff run to nobody in particular. Or I could adopt another city's team to follow throughout the season.
Option No. 2 has a lower risk of hypothermia and loitering charges, so I think I'll go with that one. The following is a list of the most attractive NBA teams and why they might be a good fit for me and maybe other Seattle pro basketball fans.
Portland TrailBlazers
Portland is obviously the closest NBA team and arguably a natural fit. It certainly would bring peace to The Mitten household. Mrs. The Mitten is a Blazers fan and there would be an odd harmony in the house if this were to happen. The Blazers also have a number of players with Seattle roots and a head coach in Nate McMillan who was (is?) Mr. Sonic before heading south for Portland. Guard Brandon Roy and forward Martell Webster are local hoopsters made good. Roy is hands down my favorite guard in the game. Add Greg Oden to mix and there is no reason this team shouldn’t win a championship in the next five years. But here’s the thing and it’s kind of a big deal. *&#@! the Blazers.
Los Angeles Lakers
This is a west coast team with a storied history … sorry, I just can’t do this.
Golden State Warriors
This is another west coast team that would be easy to adopt. Oklahoma City ripped off the Warriors’ mascot’s name (Thunder) and used it for their team name. We in Seattle can empathize with a city that’s been violated by Thunder owner Clay Bennett. You may have read in the papers that he bought our Seattle SuperSonics and then left town with it. Don’t know if you heard about that.
New Orleans Hornets
It seems the only way Seattle will get another NBA franchise is if millionaires from this city steal a team from another city. New Orleans is an oft-mentioned team that could be lifted by said millionaires. I just love the system NBA commissioner David Stern has set up. You want to own an NBA franchise? Hold your hometown hostage for tax funding, buy another city’s team, destroy an entire fan base and then move the team to your city. If this scenario plays out in Seattle’s favor, compassionate Sonics fans should feel terrible. The only response they’ll have when Hornets fans rightfully unleash hell is: “Well, sorry, we went through the same thing a few years ago. Take it easy.” Lame. How cool would it be to rip away a team from a hurricane ravaged city that still includes large pockets of impoverished areas? Answer: not very. It makes me sick to my stomach.
Oklahoma City Thunder
Just kidding. I hate you Clay Bennett.
Los Angeles Clippers
The Clip-joint seems well-fitted for an NBA fan living in Seattle. The franchise has endured years of disappointing seasons while playing second fiddle to its in-city neighbors the Lakers. Every few years the Clippers are touted as the next big thing until the season actually starts and the whole thing comes unraveled (please see, Seattle Mariners, Seattle Seahawks for comparison). Seattle loves an underdog and the Clippers could make some noise in the Western Conference. The addition of former NBA Defensive Player of the Year Marcus Camby might remind Sonics fans of Nate McMillan or Gary Payton locking down an opponent in the glory days. Free-agent acquisition Baron Davis could do the same from the point guard position. Plus, they have a big dopey white guy at center in Chris Kaman. We love big dopey white guys. He’d be like Steve Scheffler, but good. Kaman had a breakout season last year averaging 15.7 points, 12.7 rebounds, and 2.8 blocks per game. This could work.
So be it. The L.A. Clippers will be the adopted team for the 2008-09 season. Beats the hell out of hypothermia.
Option No. 2 has a lower risk of hypothermia and loitering charges, so I think I'll go with that one. The following is a list of the most attractive NBA teams and why they might be a good fit for me and maybe other Seattle pro basketball fans.
Portland TrailBlazers
Portland is obviously the closest NBA team and arguably a natural fit. It certainly would bring peace to The Mitten household. Mrs. The Mitten is a Blazers fan and there would be an odd harmony in the house if this were to happen. The Blazers also have a number of players with Seattle roots and a head coach in Nate McMillan who was (is?) Mr. Sonic before heading south for Portland. Guard Brandon Roy and forward Martell Webster are local hoopsters made good. Roy is hands down my favorite guard in the game. Add Greg Oden to mix and there is no reason this team shouldn’t win a championship in the next five years. But here’s the thing and it’s kind of a big deal. *&#@! the Blazers.
Los Angeles Lakers
This is a west coast team with a storied history … sorry, I just can’t do this.
Golden State Warriors
This is another west coast team that would be easy to adopt. Oklahoma City ripped off the Warriors’ mascot’s name (Thunder) and used it for their team name. We in Seattle can empathize with a city that’s been violated by Thunder owner Clay Bennett. You may have read in the papers that he bought our Seattle SuperSonics and then left town with it. Don’t know if you heard about that.
New Orleans Hornets
It seems the only way Seattle will get another NBA franchise is if millionaires from this city steal a team from another city. New Orleans is an oft-mentioned team that could be lifted by said millionaires. I just love the system NBA commissioner David Stern has set up. You want to own an NBA franchise? Hold your hometown hostage for tax funding, buy another city’s team, destroy an entire fan base and then move the team to your city. If this scenario plays out in Seattle’s favor, compassionate Sonics fans should feel terrible. The only response they’ll have when Hornets fans rightfully unleash hell is: “Well, sorry, we went through the same thing a few years ago. Take it easy.” Lame. How cool would it be to rip away a team from a hurricane ravaged city that still includes large pockets of impoverished areas? Answer: not very. It makes me sick to my stomach.
Oklahoma City Thunder
Just kidding. I hate you Clay Bennett.
Los Angeles Clippers
The Clip-joint seems well-fitted for an NBA fan living in Seattle. The franchise has endured years of disappointing seasons while playing second fiddle to its in-city neighbors the Lakers. Every few years the Clippers are touted as the next big thing until the season actually starts and the whole thing comes unraveled (please see, Seattle Mariners, Seattle Seahawks for comparison). Seattle loves an underdog and the Clippers could make some noise in the Western Conference. The addition of former NBA Defensive Player of the Year Marcus Camby might remind Sonics fans of Nate McMillan or Gary Payton locking down an opponent in the glory days. Free-agent acquisition Baron Davis could do the same from the point guard position. Plus, they have a big dopey white guy at center in Chris Kaman. We love big dopey white guys. He’d be like Steve Scheffler, but good. Kaman had a breakout season last year averaging 15.7 points, 12.7 rebounds, and 2.8 blocks per game. This could work.
So be it. The L.A. Clippers will be the adopted team for the 2008-09 season. Beats the hell out of hypothermia.
No comments:
Post a Comment